Tantric experience is about purposeful and mindful mental and physical relaxation. Similar objectives are common, also, to other meditative disciplines. One distinguishing feature of Tantric practice is that it can combine pleasurable physical experience with practice that can be enjoyed solo or readily shared.
Tantra is almost unique in openly recognizing the fundamental sexual energy potentials that are often buried too deeply within us. Further reading in this blog discusses more detail on this theme.
This blog gives much explanation to the potentials of Tantric massage. The massage experience is, perhaps, the most agreeable and easily accessed road to Tantric experience.
However, in this piece I’d like to broaden the potential assumptions about Tantra. One purpose of Tantric experience is to free the mind of negative thought/mundane analysis etc. – in other words, ordinary daily worries that absorb the potential energies which we all possess. Giving breath to those energies has the ultimate effect of recharging the physical and mental batteries.
A number of things cause us to live through our days trying to ignore many of the thoughts and energies within us. Legitimate daily tasks and responsibilities can easily be given precedence over, what might be considered, less important matters – like relaxation and pleasure! In many cases we deny the importance of the normal human need of physical and mental pleasure – punishing ourselves with unnecessary feelings of guilt.
In fact, in many cases it is the fear of ‘guilt’ that creates painful stress and it’s negative stress that can cause many to take the wrong road – to make self destructive and unwise decisions.
Tantra teaches that there is nothing wrong with a touch of self administered TLC!
So my thought here is to address the issue of ‘guilt’ in Tantra and to show how Tantra can combat misplaced feelings of guilt, and inappropriate stress.
It’s not hard to enjoy a conventional relaxation massage and where the massage meets the mental and physical expectations, life will be improved until the next time. But this is not even close as an energy outlet for many people who carry what they believe to be ‘unusual preferences’.
We’ve come a long way in understanding more about sexual orientation. We know that most mindful sexual preferences are not negative, unusual or to be condemned. There’s still a long way to go, of course, in understanding that our preferences are likely quite natural and are shared with more people than we might have been led to believe.
But still there are many other forms of ‘unusual preferences’ that cause unnecessary ‘pain & suffering’. People often feel ‘guilty’ about desiring the most exciting but entirely normal and safe fantasies. The feelings of ‘guilt’ prevent seeking safe and acceptable outlets, and so the path to unacceptable stress opens up.
This is where Tantric practice can help. Tantra can provide a ‘guilt-free’ opportunity to express and safely try out a few fantasies. Finding a non-judgmental outlet to express pleasurable thoughts and actions that are perhaps more personal than one might choose to risk in open society, can be the thing that successfully balances the energies within us.
Tantric practice can be that outlet. It is entirely within the scope of Tantra to discover and promote/enhance fantasies that can relax the mind. The destination is mental and physical relaxation. Whichever road takes us there is the correct road. So, for example, if the experience of cross dressing relaxes the mind, in Tantra there is no reason to resist the experience. If leather and bondage heighten awareness, then sit back and enjoy. If exhibitionism and voyeurism spark fantasies that can lead to a relaxed mind, then don’t fight the urge. The examples are almost limitless. I mention these for no particular reason, other than they are so commonly enjoyed.
The point is that with an experienced Tantric guide it’s possible and appropriate to share these thoughts and fantasies. Often the experience of safely sharing what has previously been an incompletely explored fantasy or lifestyle, can bring much relief and pleasure. Tantra can take you there in an environment that is safe and private.
Often we have little idea that the thoughts and curiosities that we experience would, in fact, be most appreciated when shared with another. Tantra can help build a confidence in understanding personal fantasies and learning to safely share. With Tantric practice the’ guilt’ will slide away to be replaced with a refreshed understanding of your personal world.
It’s important to be clear that the vast majority of fantasies and sexual curiosities are valid and a natural part of the lives of all. Never fear the seeming strangeness of your thought. An experienced guide will be only too pleased to share it with you and help you enjoy it to the max.
Beyond this it should also be clear that there are fantasies that should not be moved to reality. If thought and curiosities can or will lead to non-consensual activity with another, then Tantric practice finds no validity. If the ideas are proscribed or illegal then they find no place in the world of Tantra, for Tantric practice seeks to safely relax and open the mind. It does not seek to encourage actualizing activities that will hurt another person or contravene laws designed to protect others.
That said, Tantra recognizes that we are all entitled to a private and relaxed sensual and erotic journey in life and we all find unique roads on those journeys. A Tantric guide can be a discrete partner on these personal journeys and often is the most comfortable and informed of travelling companions when it’s difficult to decide which turn to make along the way.
The first step of a journey is often the most difficult to take. It’s often most difficult to share the initial thought about the path you’re minded to explore. In seeking the safety of Tantra you can be sure that your thoughts, fantasies and desires will be received in an engaged and friendly way, always to encourage and facilitate the goal of a relaxed mind and body. So, take the risk – share your fantasy!