Massage, Touch, Tantra, Energy & Shared Awareness

many-handsDinner with Stephen – Part 1

I received many responses following the first posting describing Stephen’s visit to my out of town client. In it I mentioned that I had received a further email from the original sender describing what happened at the dinner with his neighbour, and would I post what happened.

Actually the description was contained in a very long document, again in a ‘stream of consciousness’ style. The general sense was that the evening turned out to be something of a ‘fantasy come true’ – at least that is the message that I got – but the story was too long to post as it was sent to me.

What I’ve done is reformed what he sent to me, as I did with the previous email, and divided it into two parts. This is the first part. I believe that the dinner events and descriptions are reflective of the sender’s experience and thoughts,  but, without changing the intent of what he sent, in shortening what was sent to me I have removed any identifying information about personalities or location that could reveal more than the writer intended.

The important thing is to recognize that what he describes is an experience that is truly consistent with Tantric ideas and demonstrates how moving beyond conventional physical and mental boundaries can provide expanded and valuable Tantric life experiences.

Here’s part 1.

“Thank you so much for reading about my neighbour’s visit while I was moving into my new apartment. I’m feeling like a voyeur looking at myself and am writing again because dinner at his place was just as unusual as Stephen’s first visit.

As he promised, he put a note under my door inviting me the next Wednesday and to come by around 6.30 p.m. He’s just down the hall at my new apartment building so it’s all very convenient. No driving!

I hadn’t seen Stephen since his unannounced welcoming visit the week before and the memory of that visit was still fresh and exciting to think about. Not often had anyone paid that much attention to my tattoos!

I have to admit to some nerves and pleasant expectations about the dinner invite although I had no specific agenda. I was just looking forward to some easy conversation and a relaxing evening with somebody who seemed to share some of my interests and concerns.

Somehow I’d put into the back of my mind that we’d spent most of our previous visit talking about my intimate tattoos, naked sunbathing, body issues, Tantra and being a nudist at home! Now, as I was getting ready to wander down the hall, I started to recall that he’d persuaded me to get naked, show him my tattoos and allowed him to see me aroused!

I wasn’t unhappy with the memories but I did wonder why that visit and the upcoming dinner had not really connected in my head. Certainly the realization fluttered a few butterflies in my stomach, but not unpleasantly.

I’d bought a bottle of quite expensive red wine – he’d brought white when he visited – to take as a dinner gift. I couldn’t open that bottle so poured out a glass of white wine that was open in my fridge and swallowed that for lubrication. Then, dressed in my best jeans and a thin sweater, I carried the bottle along the hall to his apartment.

I also remembered that Stephen had said that a friend of his would be joining us and I wondered how that would add to the dinner. I’d have to be on my best behaviour! All these thoughts were buzzing around in my head as I arrived at his door but none of those thoughts had prepared me for the next happening.

I knocked on the door, readied with wine and a smile and the door opened quickly. There stood Stephen – naked!

 I didn’t know what to say or how to react and obviously he knew I would be completely surprised. So I just said, “Hi, here I am” and gave him the wine, for which he thanked me with a big smile.

I entered the apartment foyer and kicked off my sneakers, jokingly noting – with a humorous comment that I’d prepared, that he could notice that I didn’t have a toe ring – he’d revealed the one that he wears when he visited me. Somehow the joke seemed embarrassingly hopeless, especially since I was wearing socks. Stephen just smiled broadly and said to follow him into his living room. I still didn’t really know what to say.

We entered the living room and he said, “Well, what do you think?”

‘About what?’  I thought.

Before I could respond out loud, he continued that he thought he should return the compliment of being naked, after his visit to me when I’d shown him my tattoos. He reminded me that I’d told him that I liked to be nude around the place and that he had the same thinking, so why not tonight? 

By now I was getting a little more adjusted to his state and style and so I thanked him for the idea. He didn’t seem to have been drinking and seemed quite sincere in a playful sort of way, so I decided to take this as a continuation of our previous meeting and go with the flow.

I said that he looked very nice and he gave me a hug. He’s of average build, quite fit, mid 30’s I’d say, with blond complexion and not much body hair. He’s got a nice smile and friendly eyes. Something of a tanned complexion. 

As we stood in the living room he knew I was still composing myself so he took a step back and did a 360 degree turn saying now that I’d seen almost all there was to see. I still wasn’t sure how to respond but he made a great image. I tried to only look him in the eye but he saw that my mind might be more curious and so he said, “No problem – take a good look – that’s all part of the fun!”

He’s got one of those penises that always seems to be half erect – sort of hanging at an angle and quite noticeable even when soft. He of course saw that I’d taken him up on his invitation to look below and smiled his usual friendly grin.

I said he looked great, or something equally bland, still feeling a little embarrassed. He wasn’t going to let me off the hook so easily. He said that he had really appreciated my time last week and that I should know that he was genuinely intrigued with my tattoos as much as he was flattered with my comfort level.

This was one way that he could return the compliment. He reminded me that we are all sexual creatures and there is nothing wrong with some eroticism and he wanted to make this time a little erotic. He also said that since we’d established that we both liked being nude at home, and in front of others, it made a lot of sense to enjoy the opportunity. As he talked I saw that his penis was beginning to grow, as was mine, but of course I was well hidden!

He saw that I was noticing as I listened to him and he pointed out that there was nowhere to hide for him! All said with a smile, but he added that he really tried to enjoy every aspect of his body when the chances occurred and this was a chance to enjoy himself and he was sure that I wouldn’t mind his occasional erections. That I’d always be able to see what he was thinking!

For me this cleared my mind and I told him so and to go ahead – his enjoyment would also be mine. What’s the harm, I thought. Certainly he was not at all self conscious and he seemed as relaxed as he had been when he visited me. I also think that he was enjoying the effect of blindsiding me but it was clear that his joke was for fun and not in any way intended offensively. I realized that it reflected a level of trust in me, just as I had trusted him. So we were ‘cool’.

After this conversation he invited me to sit down while he went to the kitchen to open the wine I’d brought. I looked around the living room. Nicely but conventionally furnished. I could see the view from his balcony and decided that I had the better side of the building.

He came back into the room with the opened bottle and two glasses and said that his friend would join us later and then we’d have dinner. He poured the wine and we clinked glasses across the coffee table. He was on the sofa and I was in one of two armchairs.

By now I was completely used to his being naked and was beginning to enjoy the visual energy. He moved around on the couch naturally and made no attempt to hide or adjust himself for my benefit. He just stretched out on the couch and we chatted. I noticed he was wearing the toe ring but other than that there were no other body adornments. I thought that maybe he had trimmed his pubic hair quite short and his skin seemed quite smooth, but that’s as far as my thoughts went.

I did find myself thinking that I wished I’d had his natural physical confidence – that I must have missed a lot of chances. Again Stephen seemed to read my thoughts and said that knowing that it was OK with me for him to be nude I was more than welcome to do as most of his like minded friends did and undress also, if I’d like. Seeing that I was still a bit hesitant he told me not to worry. Just to relax.

Then he said why didn’t he take off my socks and he’d give me a foot rub to relax me while we talked. I wasn’t going to miss this chance by playing hard to get so I thanked him and put my feet on the table and he took off my socks and massaged my feet. I’d found from massage and Tantra that the feet can be sensually very sensitive and this didn’t seem to be the first time he’d done this. He seemed to know exactly where to touch and stroke. I couldn’t have felt more comfortable.

Suddenly he stopped massaging and started to talk about some of the things I’d told him about my body issues. He thanked me again for telling him and said that he thought this evening might help me further in seeing that I wasn’t crazy. He said again that he and many of his friends often were nude around each other and that it wasn’t only a sexual thing. That they all liked seeing the naked body and that everyone was basically the same. Just different shapes and sizes.

I said that I’d come to understand this but that I still worried about being inappropriately aroused, as I was when he visited and looked at my tattoos. He pointed out that I hadn’t noticed that he’d become aroused while massaging my feet and that he didn’t think I’d even looked.  This wasn’t quite true. Actually, mostly, I’d closed my eyes to enjoy the massage. His point was that was how acceptable it all was in the right company.

Stephen mentioned that at private gatherings, among friends, someone was always getting an erection, and that everyone becomes comfortable with it. And anyway there is nothing wrong with erections so why try to hide them. We should encourage them. This was his view and I certainly wasn’t going to argue!

All this was arousing for me and it was clear that he had noticed. With a knowing grin he pointed out that I seemed to reflect exactly what we’d been talking about.

Then he went further and started to talk about self stimulation. He said that obviously it was fun in the right company but had been given a bad name and that we should all loosen up on this subject.

Everything he said seemed to make perfect sense and I recalled that this subject had been talked about in a bodywork retreat that I’d attended and that I’d worked on the idea myself but hadn’t really found much opportunity to practice with others!

We’d been sipping at the wine and the atmosphere was very relaxed but I was beginning to wonder what would come next so I asked what he had planned for dinner. That reminded him that he had some crackers and nuts which he hadn’t put out and he went into the kitchen and came back with a couple of bowls of snack things. He said that he planned to eat around 8.30 p.m. after his friend had arrived if that was OK with me. I said I’d look forward to it.

I was curious whether his friend was also familiar with the things we’d been talking about and he said they often hung out in this way so I’d be in good hands.  Before I could think of another topic he said that he was going to make a suggestion that I could accept or reject but which might help as a comfort thing.

Always being open to being comfortable I told him to go ahead. I think the wine was catching up on me but I couldn’t have imagined what would follow.

His idea was that he would fill the bathtub and give me a bath before dinner. He said that the idea was a good one because it would give me an excuse to get undressed! He always enjoyed bathing people and it was a good way to get to know them!

He offered the invitation so smoothly that I found it difficult to say no – not that I felt that I wanted to refuse!

Anyway I said, “OK if you’d like to” and without another word he went to the bathroom to fill the tub.

I remained seated in the chair and I could feel my heart racing. Talking about sexual topics, sitting around naked etc. – this was all comfortable, but now Stephen was proposing something that seemed to me to be especially personal.

Before I could get my head around the idea much more he came back into the living room and with his normal persuasive voice suggested that I get undressed – very necessary for a bath he pointed out with a grin. This instruction focused me again on the fact that he was naked and also excited at the bath prospect.

Anyway I lifted myself out of the comfortable chair and took off my jeans and sweater while he watched.   I could feel that I was quite excited under my boxers and he said that it was good to see I was looking forward to this and also that my giraffe (tattoo) could do with a drink, which I thought was funny.

So I took off the boxers and he led me to the bathroom. The bathroom, like mine, is quite new with lots of chrome and mirrors and soft lights. The shower drops into a large tub which was filling with water. The temperature was perfect and I got in and sat down.

There was no bubble bath to hide beneath and by now l was feeling very aroused. Satisfying himself that I was comfortably settled, Stephen, without more words, got a washcloth and soaped it up and washed my back. It felt great. Then he had me stand up and he washed the rest of the back of me and my legs and buttocks.

Then he stopped and whispered that this part could be as intimate as I wanted. That he would wash and soap between my legs if I liked. If not, no problem. I said he should go ahead and that I was enjoying the whole thing. 

So he soaped his hand and washed carefully between my legs. I’d never had this done to me before and I nearly exploded, but I was trying hard to practice controlling myself and he seemed to realize if I was getting too close.

Then, while I was still standing he turned me round and washed my front. He said he was fascinated with the beaver tattoo and said that it really seemed to be fixated on my nipple.

This comment seemed to give him an excuse to tell me that his nipples were quite sensitive and that he had a fascination with nipples – his own and other people’s. I thanked him for telling me, saying that I’d keep that in mind for the future!

After this exchange he had me sit down again and washed my feet. This was all quite fantastic and I wanted him to also get in the tub, but he didn’t.

He said that he now had to get the dinner together and that I should empty the tub and use the shower and then come back out and join him. He pointed to the towels and then  left for the other room.

I showered off the soap and decided that I should wipe down the tub etc. Doing that calmed my nerves somewhat and I dried myself off and wrapped the towel around me.

Then I thought maybe I shouldn’t use the towel as cover. Since Stephen had been naked for the past hour and he’d hidden nothing from me, so there wasn’t anything I should hide from him. So I just walked through to the living room, naked.

Stephen was there, dressed in jeans and a T shirt with his friend!

A female also dressed in jeans and a shirt.”


What followed is in Part 2 which I’ll post soon. I can say that it all ends happily!

Tel:      250-984-7051                Email:


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