Massage, Touch, Tantra, Energy & Shared Awareness

Archive for March, 2018

Massage & A Birthday Party

There are occasions when Tantric massage can add to a special event and on this occasion it was to celebrate a birthday.

This event was unusual in some ways and did remind of the  possibilities when gathering a small group of people together.

What follows is a more detailed description of the birthday dinner.


Tel: 250-984-7051                Email:


Birthday Massage

The invitation was to be part of a small birthday celebration at the home of some friends.

It was the birthday of a friend of theirs and they wanted to organize a memorable, but ‘civilized’, party.

My friends have been Tantric massage visitors for a few years and I’ve known them through their visits and various art gatherings, exhibitions etc.

What they arranged for their friend is worth a few words since it was so carefully planned and worked so well.

The plan was quite simple. They invited their birthday friend (he’s unattached) and 2  m/f couples, for a surprise birthday dinner. That made a party of seven including the hosts who are a m/m couple.

The surprise for the birthday guest was to be that everybody could receive a massage throughout the evening – if they chose. I was invited to provide the massages.

What made the plan particularly interesting, and provided the performance art & Tantric aspect, was that the massage table was set up in the dining room. So while the others were eating, the guest receiving massage could be watched from the dining table.

My friends saw this not only as a birthday gift of Tantric massage, but also as performance art.

Initially the massage table was draped and disguised. When everybody was seated for dinner, and comfortable – there had been drinks etc. before sitting down – the hosts uncovered the massage table and announced the evening’s ‘birthday present’.

The initial surprise announcement was well received – all guests were on the same page – and was greeted with appreciation and enormous positive energy.

The hosts explained that the order of massage would be random. Cards would be dealt to each person prior to each massage. The highest card would be the next massage.

Massages would last around 15 mins. Some obvious logistcal questions arose. The random playing card routine handled who would be first, but then questions about what to wear/not to wear/how intimate/oil etc. – all were asked.

The hosts said that all that was necessary was for everyone to enjoy themselves within their own comfort level – obviously it was equally acceptable to take a pass and just watch.

My task was to provide massage entirely according to the wishes of the guest. The hosts and the table would ensure that the guest was heard and understood.

The dress for the evening was smart/casual. The group comprised of very open minded people, of course, but it can never be assumed that all sizes always fit everybody, whatever the past experiences.

In this case everybody seemed totally into the activity.

So, as the party talked and decided I prepared the massage table, oil, towels etc.

The cards were dealt for the first time, and exposed. The highest belonged to one of the partnered males.

The hosts had set a screen for changing and with the encouragement of all, especially his partner, the first ‘high card’ retired behind the screen to prepare.

There were towels behind the screen and the guest emerged wearing one of them around his waist, to much applause.

He climbed onto the table, face down. The hosts asked if he wanted to keep the towel on and of course the group encouraged him to discard it. That was his choice so I removed it.

I started the massage of his back immediately as the party enjoyed their meal and enjoyed the visual of the massage. I checked if it was OK to use oil. It was. The plan was to allow approx. equal time on both back and front.

Now the time came for him to turn over. Again the question – did he want a towel? Hoots of laughter from the table encouraging no towel! I whispered in his ear, checking his preference.

The energy in the room was certainly supportive and erotic. He said that his preference did not require the towel.

The turn over revealed that he was clearly enjoying the time and he was cheered by the ‘audience’. I massaged, with limitations, his front, figuring that his partner or others could continue the massage themselves, at a later time, if that was the plan.

The front massage was over soon enough – too soon, probably for the guest – and he rolled off the table, standing to take a mock bow.

The hosts then asked him whether he wanted to get dressed again or just recover the towel. Whatever he decided likely would set the precedent for the evening.

His partner called out that he should remain as he was – naked and well oiled. That received the support of the table, so I handed him the towel and he resumed his seat, a nude male at a table of smartly dressed diners. Performance art takes many forms.

New cards were dealt and this time the high card was the ‘birthday’ guest. The timing seemed appropriate.

We all sang happy birthday when he turned over. As with the previous guest, he didn’t ask to be draped with his towel or recover his clothes, so the table now included two naked male guests.

The next card selection only included the remaining five guests, of course. The high card fell to the female partner of the male who hadn’t yet had a massage.

Tantric massage is approached with respect and with a practical neutrality regarding gender. The experience must also always respect individual preferences, expectations and comfort levels.

The hosts checked carefully again that the massage experience would be within the lady’s comfort level.

She reassured everybody that this was exactly where she wanted to be and emerged from her seat at the table. After a stop behind the screen for a towel she climbed onto the massage table and I spent 10 mins. massaging her back. Then turn over time came. I whispered in her ear, asking if she wanted to continue, and with or without the towel.

The reply was a very clear “yes”, and without the towel, and she flipped over immediately. By the end of the massage she was as happy as her two previous companion diners.

On leaving the massage table she said she no longer has use for her dress that evening and joined the others at the table.

It happened that the next high card was the remaining female and she followed the same easy pattern as the previous guest.

The remaining guests for massage were the males, of course, and by the end the vibe in the room was certainly ‘electric’.

It was a long and enjoyable evening. The energy was entirely positive and although the evening was long there was little time to have any thoughts of fatigue.

I’ve also been told that the guest of honour found this to be his best birthday present, ever!

Tantric approaches and experiences can be used to raise energy and heighten awareness in many situations. This was an event that wasn’t difficult to imagine or organize and led to an unforgettable experience for all present.


Tel:  250-984-7051                    Email:












Massage, Fitness & Curiosity

Squeeze - CopyTantra, Fitness & Curiosity

This email has been on my list for inclusion for the past year. Now seems a good time to post it.
It’s an email from a reader who explains that after a year of regular relaxation massage he became increasingly motivated to improve his body image and state of mind. The content speaks for itself. I haven’t edited his remarks, which convey a sincere message.
He wonders whether his thoughts are ‘tantric enough’. I replied to him when he wrote, saying that his experiences were entirely reflective of Tantric possibilities.
Regaining a physical comfort level is very much a matter of continued realistic commitment and motivation.
Tantric practice can promote and combine a relaxed state of mind with a non-judgemental physical awareness, and can contribute to a progressive and lasting change in outlook and health.
Tantric practice makes no claims based on accepted scientific method but the following email does suggest that happy endings come in many disguises.
Subject: Massage for fitness

Hey Colin, You might like this for your web site.

Its the new year 2014 and I remembered my new year rezolutions a year ago. It was to lose some weight and try to get fitter.

I am a family man with grown kids out of the home and I had become a couch cabbage. I’d tried jogging and gyms and all sorts of things but nothing seemed to stick so I’d almost given up. I got talking to a casual friend who seemed in better shape than me and he said he’d been going for massage regularly for a couple of years and he’d found that it made him more active and also relaxed in himself at the same time.

I thought he might be joking with me like he was suggesting something wierd and he might be talking about ladies and happy endings but he wasn’t although he said so far the results had been happy.

He gave me the number of the guy that he’d been visitng for massage and I called it after feeling even more over stuffed from Christmas. I did mention my friend and that I was looking to get in better shape. It seemed a bit unlikely that massage could do what I wanted but my friend seemed to have become fitter and so maybe there was a secret. Also I was a bit nervous about getting massage from another guy but I was curious in my mind and I’ll admit to some mixed feelings.

Long story short I made an appointment and had a great complete massage. The masseur – I’ll skip his name – didn’t make the slightest personal remark although I told him that I was feeling overweight and tired. The time on the table was completely relaxing and I rebooked another visit.

I visited many times in the year and found that because I had to be undressed during the sessions which I began to enjoy I began to take more interest in my weight and as the sessions relaxed me I started to become more interested in diet and excercize.

I dropped more than 10 lbs. during the year. I think it was a result of the massage making me more conscious of myself and motivating me even though my massage buddy never made a remark. I get on well with him and I think I’ve found the same experience as my friend.

Not sure if this is tantric enough for you but it might also work for other guys who can’t find things that work. I won’t mention all of the massage techniques that I’ve enjoyed but they beat a lot of other excercize options. Also no problem with having a guy massaging me. I’ll just say that it’s really helped me relax and enjoy my curious side.


Ps: I’m in Calgary but expect to semi retire in a couple of years so maybe I’ll visit you.

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Fantasy & Tantra

 Fantasy & Tantric Experience

Tantric experience is about purposeful and mindful mental and physical relaxation. Similar objectives are common, also, to other meditative disciplines but one distinguishing feature of Tantric practice is that it can combine pleasurable physical experience with practice that can be enjoyed solo or readily shared.

Tantra is almost unique in openly recognizing the fundamental sexual energy potentials that are often buried too deeply within us. The Tantric massage experience is, perhaps, the most agreeable and easily accessed road to Tantric experience.

It is possible, however, to broaden the potential assumptions about Tantra. One purpose of Tantric experience is to free the mind of negative thought/mundane analysis etc. – in other words, ordinary daily worries that absorb the potential energies which we all possess. Giving breath to those energies has the ultimate effect of recharging the physical and mental batteries.

Many factors cause us to live through our days trying to ignore many of the thoughts and energies within us. Legitimate daily tasks and responsibilities can easily be given precedence over, what might be considered, less important matters – for example relaxation and pleasure! In many cases we deny the importance of the normal human need of physical and mental pleasure – punishing ourselves with unnecessary feelings of guilt.

In fact, in many cases it is the feeling of ‘guilt’ that creates painful stress and it is negative stress that can cause many to take the wrong road – to make self destructive and unwise decisions.

Tantra teaches that there is nothing wrong with a touch of self administered TLC!

So the thought here is to address the issue of ‘guilt’ in Tantra and to show how Tantra can combat misplaced feelings of guilt, and inappropriate stress.

It’s not hard to enjoy a conventional relaxation massage and where the massage meets the mental and physical expectations, life will be improved until the next time. But this is not even close as an energy outlet for many people who enjoy, for example, more personal and liberating preferences.

We’ve come a long way in understanding more about gender possibilities and orientations. We know that most mindful preferences are not negative, unusual or to be condemned. There’s still a long way to go, however, in understanding that our preferences are likely quite natural and are shared by more people than we might have been led to believe.

But still there are many other forms of ‘unusual preferences’ that cause unnecessary ‘pain & suffering’.  People often feel ‘guilty’ about desiring the most exciting but entirely normal and safe fantasies. The feelings of ‘guilt’ prevent seeking safe and acceptable outlets, and so the path to unacceptable stress opens up.

This is where Tantric practice can help. Tantra can provide a ‘guilt-free’ opportunity to express and safely realize a few fantasies. Finding a non-judgmental outlet to express pleasurable thoughts and actions that are perhaps more personal than one might choose to risk in open society, can be the thing that successfully balances the energies within us.

Tantric practice can be that outlet. It is entirely within the scope of Tantra to discover and promote/enhance fantasies that can relax the mind. The destination is mental and physical relaxation. Whichever road takes us there is the correct road. So, for example, if the experience of cross dressing relaxes the mind, in Tantra there is no reason to resist the experience. If leather and bondage heighten awareness, then sit back and enjoy. If exhibitionism and voyeurism spark fantasies that can lead to a relaxed mind, then don’t fight the urge. The examples are almost limitless. These examples are mentioned for no other reason than that they are so commonly enjoyed. There are so many other ideas and expressions.

The point is that with an experienced Tantric guide it’s possible and appropriate to share these thoughts and fantasies. The experience of safely sharing what has previously been an incompletely explored fantasy or lifestyle, can bring much relief and pleasure. Tantra can provide an environment that is safe and private.

Often we have little idea that the thoughts and curiosities that we experience would, in fact, also be appreciated and enjoyed in a shared environment. Tantra can help build a confidence in understanding and sharing personal fantasies. With Tantric practice the’ guilt’ will slide away to be replaced with a refreshed understanding of your personal world.

It’s important to be clear that the vast majority of fantasies and sexual curiosities are valid and a natural part of the lives of all. Never fear the seeming strangeness of your thought.

Beyond this it should also be clear that there are fantasies that should not be moved to reality. If thought and curiosities can or will lead to non-consensual activity, then Tantric practice finds no validity. If the ideas are proscribed or illegal then they find no place in the world of Tantra, for Tantric practice seeks to safely relax and open the mind. It does not seek to encourage actualizing activities that will hurt another person or contravene rules designed to protect others.

That said, Tantra recognizes that we are all entitled to a private and relaxed sensual and erotic journey in life and we all find unique roads on those journeys. A Tantric guide can be a discrete partner on these personal journeys and often is the most comfortable and informed of traveling companions when it’s difficult to decide which turn to make along the way.

The first step of a journey is often the most difficult to take. It’s often most difficult to share the initial thought about the path we’re minded to explore. In seeking the safety of Tantra we can be sure that thoughts, fantasies and desires will be received with an engaged and interested energy, always encouraging and facilitating the goal of relaxing the mind and body. So, take the risk – share your fantasy!


Tel:        250-984-7051



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