Massage, Touch, Tantra, Energy & Shared Awareness

Posts tagged ‘couples tantric massage’

Couples & Massage

Couples & Tantra

Couples of all descriptions – opposite & same sex –  are more likely than ever before to participate in Tantric group workshops or enjoy massages together.

Even ‘up-market’ commercial spa businesses encourage couples to visit and enjoy massage together – but it’s not exactly Tantric. There will be strict rules and limits!!

Tantric massage, however, offers an opportunity to escape some of the limits and rules and, more completely, enjoy sharing the energy of guided touch – together.

It is interesting to consider some of the reasons for couples to enjoy massage experiences together.

In no particular order:

Looking to celebrate a partner’s birthday, anniversary or some other significant event. Shared massage can be a great way to celebrate. The goal can be to make a present of a sensual and relaxing massage.

 There are those who have been researching and practicing some Tantric ritual and massage themselves and have decided to take things a little further, as if it were a mini Tantric workshop, demonstrating how to enhance sensitivity, heighten awareness and progress Tantric ideas.

If these are categories of purpose then a third category would be those who mutually wish to enhance their personal activity but somehow find that they aren’t ‘connecting’ often enough.

The turn to Tantric practice and massage has been to move beyond talk to more of a practical and hands-on experience.

While Tantric practice makes no claim to scientific or licensed professional equivalency, there is much value in choosing and incorporating hands-on experience where the comfort level allows.

Sometimes couples seek an enhanced understanding of how to meet their partner’s expectations. Tantric practice and massage can demonstrate and practice, in a friendly, non threatening way, how the preferences of either partner can be met. And then practice makes perfect.

Other couples seek simply to explore, sensually, and wish to share their experiences.

Tantric practice is gender neutral, and most ideas and objectives are properly common to both sexes. Nonetheless there are obviously differences in techniques when moving males or females into the states of heightened awareness. Shared Tantric practice recognizes this and can contribute positively to individual experiences and energies.

There are all sorts of nuances and variations to these categories, of course, and Tantric practice seeks to enhance and enable those nuances.

In Tantra, so long as the intentions are clear and consensual, Tantric practice can offer much to any couple in maintaining the strength and excitement of the relationship.

So, if you read this as 50% of a couple and have always wondered how shared time works in Tantra and Tantric massage, feel most welcome and comfortable to call and talk about the possibilities. You’ll be in good company.


Tel: 250-984-7051                      Email:




Outcall Massage & A Birthday Party

There are occasions where an outcall visit can add to a special event, and I thought it worth describing such an event. It was to celebrate a birthday!

This was unusual in some ways but did remind of the Tantric possibilities of gathering a small group of people together.

Often it’s fun to invite a few people together at the same time. The presence of a small group will provide a different energy from that in individual sessions.

What follows is a more detailed description of the ‘birthday outcall’. I was happy to be part of the evening.

Just email or telephone with any questions.


Tel: 250-984-7051                Email:


Birthday Massage

I was recently invited to be part of a small birthday celebration at the home of some friends of mine.

It was the birthday of a friend of theirs and they wanted to organize a memorable, but ‘civilized’, party.

My friends have been Tantric visitors for a few years and I’ve known them through Tantra and various art gatherings, exhibitions etc. I wrote previously about a recent Performance Art gathering held at their place last year.

I thought a description of what they arranged for their friend was worth a few words since it was so carefully planned and worked so well. It also allowed me to describe some outcall possibilities.

Really the concept was quite simple. They invited their birthday friend (he’s unattached) and 2 other m/f couples, for a surprise birthday dinner. That made a party of seven. My friends are a same sex couple.

The surprise for the ‘birthday guest’ was to be that everybody would receive a massage throughout the evening – if they chose. I was invited to provide the massages.

What made the plan particularly interesting, and provided the ‘performance art’ aspect, was that the massage table was set up in the dining room. So while the others were eating, the guest receiving massage could be watched from the dining table.

My friends saw this not only as a birthday gift of Tantric massage, but also as performance art.

Initially the massage table was draped and disguised. When everybody was seated for dinner, and comfortable – there had been drinks etc. before sitting down – the hosts uncovered the massage table and announced the evening’s ‘birthday present’.

I had no doubt that the plan would be well received – all guests were on the same page. I did wonder how the logistics would work, however.

The initial surprise announcement was greeted with appreciation, laughter and enormous positive energy.

We were told that the order of massage would be random. Cards would be dealt to each person prior to each massage. The highest card would be the next massage.

Massages would last around 20 mins. and would be called with 10 minute breaks between people. Fresh sheets for each.

Then some of the obvious questions arose. The random playing card routine handled who would be first, but then questions about what to wear/not to wear/how intimate/oil etc. – all were asked.

Our hosts said that all that was necessary was for everyone to enjoy themselves within their own comfort level – obviously it was equally acceptable to take a pass and just watch.

My instruction was to massage entirely according to the wishes of the guest. Our hosts and the table would ensure that the guest was heard and understood.

The dress for the evening was smart/casual. The group comprised of very open minded people, of course, but it can never be assumed that all sizes always fit everybody, whatever the past experiences.

In this case everybody seemed totally into the activity.

So, as the party talked and decided I prepared the table, with a side table for oil, towels etc.

The cards were dealt for the first time, and turned up. The highest belonged to one of the partnered guys.

Our hosts had set a Chinese screen for changing and with the encouragement of all, especially his partner, the first ‘victim’ retired behind the screen to undress.

I knew there were towels behind the screen and the guest emerged from the screen, wearing one of them around his waist, to much applause.

He looked to be a fit guy. Mid 40’s, I guess. Nice guy.

He climbed onto the table, face down. Our hosts asked if he wanted to keep the towel on and of course the group encouraged him to discard it. That was his choice so I removed it.

I started the massage of his back immediately as the party enjoyed their meal and enjoyed the visual of the massage. I checked if it was OK to use oil. It was. The time allowed around 10 minutes work on each side.

Now the time came for him to turn over. Again the question – did he want a towel? Hoots of laughter from the table encouraging no towel! I whispered in his ear, checking his preference. Likely the diners had swallowed more wine at this stage.

The energy in the room was certainly erotic, so the towel was not required by him or the party!

The turn over revealed that he was clearly enjoying the time and he was cheered by the ‘audience’. I massaged his front for another 10 minutes or so, figuring that his partner or others could continue the massage themselves, at a later time, if that was the plan.

The front massage was over soon enough – too soon, probably for the guest – and he rolled off the table, standing to take a mock bow.

Our host then asked him whether he wanted to get dressed again or just recover the towel. I knew whatever he decided would set the precedent for the evening.

His partner called out that he should remain as he was – naked and well oiled. That received the support of the table, so I handed him the towel and he resumed his seat, a nude male at a table of smartly dressed diners. Performance art takes many forms.

New cards were dealt and this time the high card was the ‘birthday’ guest.  The timing seemed entirely appropriate.

I won’t describe the process again. I took a similar approach, as did he. We all sang happy birthday when he turned over. As with the previous guest, he didn’t recover his clothes, so the table now included two naked male guests.

The next card dealing only included the remaining five guests, of course. The high card fell to the female partner of the guy who hadn’t yet had a massage.

She was a fit looking blond wearing an informal short evening dress, matching shoes and bare legs.

Tantric massage is approached with respect and with a practical neutrality regarding gender. The experience can and should contain energy and potential, with proper regard for the wishes and preferences of any person as an individual.

Our host checked carefully that this was within the lady’s comfort level. Also that the consumption of wine wasn’t getting the better of anybody!

She reassured everybody that this was exactly where she wanted to be and emerged from her seat at the table. She didn’t bother with a trip behind the screen and simply slipped off her shoes and dress. There wasn’t anything else to remove. Much applause from the diners.

She climbed onto the massage table and I spent 10 mins. massaging her back. Then turn over time came. I whispered in her ear, asking if she wanted draping.

The reply was a very clear “no”, and she flipped over immediately. As with the previous massages I massaged her front, not avoiding any areas and not seeking to over stimulate. By the end of the massage she was as happy as her two previous companion diners.

On leaving the massage table she said she no longer has use for her dress that evening and joined the others at the table.

It happened that the next high card was also the remaining female guest and she followed the same easy pattern as the previous guest.

The remaining guests for massage were the guys, of course, and at the end the energy in the room by now was ‘electric’. I’d say that the ‘performance’ element had been well received!

Our hosts had taken pictures, with the permission of everybody, throughout the evening, and the final pictures, which featured the final guy, still dressed, at the table between six, now naked, people, made an interesting comparison with the first guy to be massaged, sitting naked among six clothed people.

Personally I’d enjoyed the experience. It was a long evening but the energy was so positive there was little time to have any thoughts of fatigue.

I’ve seen the pictures that were taken. I think they will be used in an exhibition in due course.

I’ve also been told that the guest of honour found this to be his best birthday present, ever!

I recount this to explain how Tantric approaches and experiences can be used to raise energy and heighten awareness in many situations. This was an event that wasn’t difficult to imagine or organize but led to an unforgettable experience for all present.

I’ve left out my own thinking throughout the evening. Email if you’re interested in my experience of the reactions of the guests, how I was asked to participate and appear, and how it affected me – or even if you have a birthday or any other celebration, coming up!!


Tel:  250-984-7051                    Email:












Becoming Comfortable – Naked

Becoming Comfortable – Naked

I received this message from a female artist and Tantrika and because she addresses questions that are often difficult to ask I thought it was well worth publishing here. Her thoughts and comments speak for themselves and reflect many of the ideas and practices that my own visitors enjoy and that I am pleased to encourage.

‘ Hello Colin,

I read as much as I can find about Tantric practice and as an artist combining performance art with Tantra your blog has me very interested.

I’m located in Toronto and am a bisexual Tantrika, photographer and performance artist. Your descriptions of performance art and Tantric gatherings are so close to my own objectives that I wanted to write and add some of my own ideas and experiences which might interest some of your other readers.

I have found in my practice that Tantra and art combine so perfectly. Visual arts, in whatever medium you choose, including photography, ideally should make a lasting impression on the mind. So to bring art and Tantra together is a most powerful tool. Tantra is about becoming conscious of the body and its energies and so I make my art around the body and its sensual energy.

As I take my massage and Tantra clients on journeys to discover their hidden energies I like to arrange performance art and modeling sessions as often as I can. These sessions become a way of opening minds even further but do raise questions.

My approach is not traditional. I’m trying to do something different from the normal artist/model posing session although there is nothing wrong with that.

In my performance art and Tantric approach I try to capture through photographs and paint and pencil media the individual and group energy of gatherings of people.

For my clients I invite them to come together as a group to be my subjects. I don’t seek a gender balance but usually the balance is 75/25 majority male. Usually I can bring 4 – 8 people.

I hold the sessions in my studio which I love. For me it’s a space of special creative energy. My objective is to encourage people to move beyond their comfort levels and try to capture the energy of that transition as they adapt to the challenges of accepting themselves outside of their normal interaction with the world and other people.

I ask people to arrive at close to the same time. Always they are or have been massage clients so they know me. I start by asking them all to undress exactly where they find themselves.

This is a real challenge for most people. They are in a space that they likely haven’t been previously and among people who they may not have ever met before, so to undress so publicly and suddenly is not what they expected and challenges their comfort levels.  At this moment I try to photograph to capture the reactions.

My purpose is completely to raise body consciousness and as people undress I say that we’re here to celebrate bodies, forms and energies and not to hide or conceal and that I want to capture that energy.

It doesn’t take long for everybody to get naked and I ask them to stand and look around and absorb the forms and energies. I am very explicit in my language and tell the men that it is OK to have erections and to be curious about other men and the women.

In my profession as a Tantrika I have had many conversations with men who would really like to enjoy their Tantric time with male as well as female energy but are so worried that this desire might mean that they are gay. I always say that this is not necessarily so, and is nothing negative anyway, but that all people can be attracted and enjoy the energy of both sexes, especially when considered in a Tantric spirit. I often perform massage with a male friend to ease the comfort level. We should not resist giving and taking pleasing sensual and sexual energy when we can. Personally I enjoy the energy and bodies of both men and women and I try to encourage others to also explore honestly their own desires. Many of my clients visit me as well as male Tantric practices and I think this is so healthy. Just enjoy.

For my art session now I will photograph and sketch, looking at the changes in faces and energies.

People soon begin to relax a little seeing that everybody is feeling the same nervousness. I try to encourage people to become conscious of their nudity and not to ignore it for it is the sensual energy that I’m seeking to capture explicitly. The men will often start to have erections and the women will also start to pay attention to others.

For me the fascination is to record the transition that brings in sexual energy. I try to encourage people to begin to explore their own bodies in the presence of the others and then to carefully and respectfully touch and explore the bodies of others. I say to be free to explore people of the same gender however anybody self identifies. Sometimes it will be the first time a male has touched another male in a sensual or sexual way. Sometimes it is the first time that a female has watched men enjoying each other in a sexual way.

This is always within the comfort levels of individuals and nobody is ever made to feel uncomfortable. Nearly always people stay and progress their interest and I’m able to capture so many aspects of this change of sexual consciousness.

As time moves on people become less inhibited and I am able to sketch and paint at a less frantic pace. I would say that so many things can happen at these sessions. I see men enjoying their own bodies and learning about the sensuality of other men. I see women enjoying the same without judging the men. Of course people are free to express themselves and I try to encourage those expressions. As a Tantrika I train that all parts of the body can be centres of sexual energy and as an artist I like to see those energy centres being enjoyed.

When I have described this to others they always imagine that this is like an orgy. It is not a crude orgy in that way but it is an orgy of art and energy and there is nothing wrong when people can enjoy and treat each other kindly in these ways.

For both men and women it is good to see how others can behave sexually and sensually and even artistically.

I am always discreet with the photographs and drawings and after these sessions I take the images that reflect the energy and make the art by joining the images to reflect the energy of the session.

I hope that this will be interesting to you and your readers.


The writer sent me a few images of her work. I thought it worth posting this message and description. The important thing, apart from the artistic approach, is her clear understanding of how Tantric approaches to sensual and sexual energy can quickly create such positive changes in thinking and approaches to sexuality.


Tel: 250-984-7051




Posing for Art – In Tantric Style

Posing for Art – in Tantric style

I received the following email from a reader in New York. It’s worth reading and she has permitted me to post it, albeit I’ve deleted her name for privacy reasons.

If you are an artist or photographer – hobby or professional – and would like to engage with a group, or solo, to push the envelope a little, and experience some Tantric energy in visual and artistic form, I’d be happy to arrange to host such sessions.

It’s an extension from the group sessions that we currently enjoy and is a great use of Tantric energy.

Participants don’t have to be Tantric visitors, so bring along any friends with an appreciation for the human form, an open mind and a desire to paint or sketch. Or just come by yourself.

Art is an excellent way to open the gates to Tantric experience without risk or judgment. It’s gender neutral open to male & female artists and male and female models.

Just call or email if you’d like to participate.


Subject: Your Blog
From: **********

Hello Colin,

You might not get many emails like this and you don’t know me but I’m a regular reader of your blog.

I might be an unusual reader because I’m a female artist and photographer. I live in New York.

I wanted to add my 2 cents to the subjects you’ve included in your blog and say that a lot of this turns out to be useful in helping me with my art.

Mostly my art is interpretation of the human form both male & female. I use everything from oil on canvass to watercolor to pen & ink. I also often use photographic images to combine. I also teach drawing and composition in private art classes. Please read on and don’t imagine this is a pitch to get you to include my pictures on your blog. Its not about that.

I’ve been a professional artist for many years and specialize in human figure work as its always appe3aled to me as offering the best chances to produce unique work. Every body is completely unique and ever changing and I like to capture those changes ‘in the moment’.

I have many artist friends who have the same experience as me when trying to find session models. Its not difficult to find female models to pose but not so in finding male models.

If its just me painting or a class its usually not easy to find a male who can pose, often nude, to suit the needs of the artists. I think the convention is that its easier for females to feel comfortable about posing than males. Also conventions in our modern society have te4nded to prefer to view the female form than the male, although I think some things are changing in regards to that statement.

Part of my difficulty might have been in my approach to what I want to portray and I’ll say how I’ve solved the problem, personally, although I know generally that I’m not alone whatever the artistic approach requires.

Early in my career I found that capturing the human form was mostly a very sterile experience especially considering the excitement that the human body can generate. Artists are usually so concentrated on their work that the actual energy of the subject often escapes. Apologies to the many who do capture the energy of their subject.

In classical works portraying nudes, the energy is often captured, somehow, and we find that shared between the sexes.

My purpose and enjoyment has been to specialize in capturing sexual energy and tension and that is not a sterile task. It means asking a model not just to pose but actually to allow themselves to be part of an energy and image that can be observed by an artist and transferred to a canvass.

That’s asking a lot of any model and particularly a male model. I’m asking someone to pose in a state of sexual awareness or arousal which is a difficult thing for many to imagine in the usual art studio atmosphere. Mostly in figure work we encourage artists and students to ignore the elephant in the room and certainly never to venture personal approval or comment about the model.

My solution to the problem occurred when I met a guy giving massage in tantric styles, mostly to other men. We got talking and I told him what I did and what the problems often were. What he told me was very similar to what’s in your blog which is that tantric experience seems to allow people to be able to get more enjoyment from the sensuality of their bodies and to enjoy themselves for longer. Also to be less inhibited without being antisocial.

I didn’t know much about tantric massage etc. but I asked the guy if he’d like to pose at a small class that I had coming up to see if his ideas worked.

He agreed and I held the session at my studio. I think there were 4 artists at different levels of skill or objective.

At the time I wanted to sketch and paint a male in a state of heightened arousal, combining the facial expression with the genital expression. I recall that was the objective of all of us to varying degrees.

My tantric friend said he understood what I intended and delivered beautifully. He was completely confident in himself and gave the room an energy which did seem to inspire the artists.

Since then I’ve been able to invite, through my friend, many of his clients, also to pose and we’ve been able to focus and capture so much of the human form, in my opinion, in unique ways.

I’ve also come to learn more about tantra and have actually posed for a few sessions myself.

I’d say to any of your tantric readers that this is a practical use of the energy and erotic control that can be learned and that appreciation of the human form is something that should be encouraged and that sexual energy can actually be seen and experienced through the brush and canvass where the artist and model can move themselves to the same wavelength.

I hope this is of interest to you.

By the way, I should mention that as a female artist, equally curious about the male form, and the female form, I enjoy working with both sexes.

My classes are often mixed gender, sometimes all male and sometimes all female. Whatever the mix I say the same thing, that the model is completely deserving of our deep respect and gratitude. Its not an easy thing to reach and maintain a state of arousal in a group of people.

To all participants I say that they will themselves likely experience a sexual energy and they should use that to encourage their work. Often these sessions have given artists a very different view of sexuality in art than conventional figure sessions.

We’ve encouraged requests and positive comments and at times have posed two models at the same time. We’ve created a studio atmosphere that encourages artist/model communication. Although the standard of work necessarily varies, none in the classes are there to judge. Personally I’ll help when I’m asked. The surprising thing for me is how uniquely inspired the finished pieces so often are. Also how much more comfortable everybody is able to become with their physical selves through such uninhibited artistic interaction.

To be able to absorb so closely aspects of the human body that are often only brushed over has been most exciting for me and others.

(Signature deleted)

Contact Colin:

 Email:            Tel: 250-984-7051


Tantra, Fetish & Kink

Tantric Fetish & Kink

Tantric massage is a way of connecting the body to the mind.

With the pace of life today often we find that we seem to have blocked consciousness of the pleasure of physical sensations. We can lose touch with ourselves as erotic beings.

Tantric massage and touch can re-awaken erotic consciousness and Tantra is entirely about heightening erotic physical and mental awareness.

Within the Tantric experience, massage perhaps has the broadest appeal, but the opportunity also exists to delve deeper into Tantric sensation potentials.

As the mind begins to make more space for sensual, erotic and sexual stimulation, and as mental and physical awareness is heightened, the imagination of the erotic begins to challenge the physical body. We start to think about making fantasy a reality.

In Tantra it is possible to raise the sensitivity and expand the erogenous zones of the body.

Over time the body and mind becomes more conscious of erotic potential and the imagination begins to expand horizons. More fantasy can enter the consciousness door thatTantra has opened, allowing room to actualize fantasies.

Actualization of erotic imagery is often described, sometimes quite dismissively, as ‘kinky’ or ‘fetish’. But imagination should not be dismissed so easily.

Kinks and fetishes are entirely Tantric and are as valuable and valid as any part of erotic imagination.

Often Tantric visitors are hesitant to mention particular ‘turn-ons’, thinking that their thoughts are outside of proper Tantric conduct. I can reassure that actualization of erotic imagery, however ‘kinky’ or ‘fetish, it might seem (with the obvious exceptions of activity that is not lawful, sane, safe or consensual) is welcomed in Tantra and is regarded as the positive product of sensual and erotic imagination.

In my time I have been fortunate enough to share the ‘kink’ experiences and preferences of many Tantric visitors. Often a partner is needed to assist with and provide the stimulation. A Tantric guide is the ideal partner. Not only does Tantra not ‘judge’ but actually encourages and seeks to enhance such sexual and sensual ideas and experiences.

In the next posting I’ve listed some of the activities and ideas that have been shared. I’ve been pleased to have been asked to help turn some fantasies into realities. The list is certainly incomplete and if you have thoughts and ideas that you’d like to try, just let me know.

To all who enjoy the world of Tantra and massage, if you also enjoy other erotic activities or have thought about actualizing fantasies but are hesitant to mention, feel more than welcome to imagine fitting your ‘kink’ into some Tantric time. It would be wonderful to share your erotic imagination.


Tel: 250-984-7051                      Email:



Protected: Pick Your Poison

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Massage & More…..

More than Massage

Once started on a Tantric path it soon becomes clear that it’s a journey for life.

Initially, through touch and massage, new possibilities for sensual experience become apparent and it is the exploration of these possibilities that bring people to repeated massage experiences and to the broader world of Tantra.

It is often asked what possibilities there are to move more deeply into Tantric practice. Often people have read about Tantric retreats, massage exchange events, Tantric bodywork courses etc.

All of these possibilities exist and are often very productive but they are also often very expensive, difficult to get to or infrequently scheduled.

Because of this I’ve enjoyed being part of Tantric discovery sessions so that the energy raised in massage can be enjoyed for increasingly longer periods.

In Tantric discovery it is possible to sensitize the mind and body to experience more fully and regularly the erotic energy that we often deny ourselves. That is why I allow massage time to follow a natural flow, without focus on the clock, and encourage the enjoyment of heightened awareness that Tantric massage brings.

It is often this new sense of awareness that prompts people to ask about retreats and where to go next on the Tantric path.

It is now possible to schedule to enjoy more than simply Tantric massage.

Tantra, in part, is about conscious relaxation of the mind and body. Ideally, that full enjoyment and experience comes from a ‘total immersion’ environment. That is the nature of a true Tantric retreat – 24/7 immersion to refocus the mind and progress sensual consciousness.

The winding down process and physical and mental adjustment is best experienced when there is the opportunity to remain in a Tantric environment for an extended time. Such experiences and retreats often range from 24 hours to 3 days, and, depending on the stage of Tantric progress, are intense, unforgettable and deeply enjoyable.

The uninterrupted time and space allows for many aspects of Tantric ritual and experience as well as Tantric massage. The time opens possibilities both on an individual and solo basis and for couples of any gender. Tantra always introduces a new way of looking at and experiencing the world and the unique focus that extended Tantric practice brings provides an incredible opportunity to discover what any individual is truly thinking and feeling. It’s a lasting and enlightening experience.

Retreat time is always uniquely personal. Time and energy are allowed to flow naturally. The experience is designed to encourage recognizing energies as they are revealed, and instead of hiding or burying thoughts or desires, to become conscious and enjoy natural energies in an open and positive way.

So, I encourage any readers or massage visitors to consider taking some time out of any busy schedule and dedicate a day or two to some enhanced Tantric experience.

Just email, or call and we can talk more about what to expect.


Tel:  250-984-7051                          Email:


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