Massage, Touch, Tantra, Energy & Shared Awareness

Archive for the ‘LGBTQ’ Category

Always X’tra time

Thank you to all who have visited over the past year.

Every visit has been so memorable.

The Festive Season often brings the opportunity for some ‘Down-Time’ which, ironically, can also bring some ‘stressful’ times as well.

To all who might imagine finishing the year or starting the New Year with a visit –  you are most welcome.

The clock here is never counting elapsed time so do remember that if you need a place far from the madding shopping crowds, visits here don’t count the hours.

Stay and relax for as long as you can allow yourself to enjoy the gift of some X’tra ‘Down-Time’.

Colin

Tel:   250-984-7051   Email:  co.lins@outlook.com

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Touching Insights

Today I received this email and attachment from a long time visitor.

 The attachment is thoughtful and has much in common with the expectations that so many visitors have.

 Accordingly I am very happy to post this as useful information and as something of a guide to the experiences that might be expected in a visit.

 Colin

Tel:           250-984-7051

email:     co.lins@outlook.com

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Tantric approaches

Robert <@gmail.com>

Thu 11/29/2018, 4:27 PM

Hi Colin,

It’s Robert here. I’ll be calling you soon. I’ve missed visiting.

As always I try to find other friendly providers or information that meets my preferences just as you do with your approach.

I found this experience description which seems to have so much in common with what we’ve always talked about.

I thought you might like to read this and even post it.

I hope to see you again soon.

Robert

 

 

 

 

Massage thoughts
I have never been inclined to advertise to the general public or to do massage in a setting such as a clinic, spa or salon. That works for some clients and therapists, and that’s all fine and dandy, but it is not for me. I feel restricted by many customs of the mainstream massage profession, and I have no desire to work within the confines of mainstream mores. I provide time mostly to males and the clients who visit tend to appreciate an experience that defies uptight mainstream conventions.

In my opinion, nakedness is requisite to a good massage experience. I find draping, either full or partial, to be a nuisance, not to mention that it interferes with the full range of the massage energy. However, there is no need for coy excuses to justify nudity. Being naked feels good and has intrinsic value, and I work in the nude unless a client is uncomfortable with that. Not only are you free to be naked, you are free to be totally unselfconscious about the appearance of your naked body. Our culture seems hell-bent on making people feel bad about their bodies, and that is amplified in the media subculture, unfortunately. My clients come in all shapes, sizes and ages. I treat all my clients with the same sense of decency, dignity and humanity.

There is a natural sensuality to my approach. I am not shy about touch. Yes, arousal is common. I’m cool with that. I am comfortable with the fact that my clients are sexual creatures and that full-body touch can be quite stimulating. However, I do want to make clear that my sessions are very much about sexual energy in the broadest terms. It is possible to channel sensual/erotic energy throughout your entire body to enhance the experience of being touched everywhere and in allowing an overwhelming preoccupation with a desire for rapid sexual climax the full potential of a sensual massage can be lost.

There is an unfortunate dichotomy in massage culture in which “legitimate” massage and “sensual” massage are polarized, and implicit in this dichotomy is the notion that nudity and sexuality are illegitimate. This schism is an artificial creation of our sexually backward society. Think of massage as a great painting such as Michelangelo’s “Creation of Adam.” (Adam is, of course, naked.) The ethics of professional massage associations require the equivalent of placing a big black box over Adam’s genitals. For some schools and practitioners this black-box concept is taken to an extreme, so imagine Adam with all erogenous zones blacked out, including his inner thighs, belly, nipples and butt (okay, his butt is not visible in the actual painting, but you get the idea). On the other end of the spectrum, think of the massage you see advertised as an adult service, usually by practitioners with dubious credentials and hokey, insulting names like “Rod’s HotRub4U.” This is sort of like manipulating the “Creation of Adam” in Photoshop, zooming in on and enlarging the area around Adam’s genitals and deleting the rest of the painting altogether. Either way, you’re getting a bastardized version of the painting and missing out on its full beauty. It is my hope that my massage transcends labels manufactured by those who fear the human body and gives my clients the whole picture.

 

Holistic Approach: Integrating Sensuality and Erotic Energy
In my line of work, issues of eroticism and sensuality seem to be at the forefront of the minds of many of my potential clients. First of all, if you’ve ever wondered what the difference is between a sensual massage and an erotic massage… well, so have I. Most of the attempts I have read to somehow define either term run the gamut from specious to absurd. I tend to use the words “sensual” and “erotic” interchangeably to refer to man’s capacity for arousal, just so you know, and I hope I can challenge you to think outside the box of society’s default assumptions about these highly subjective and loaded words.

When I am confronted with the question Do you offer erotic massage? a big red flag goes up in my mind. It is not because I’m a prude. Far from it. I actually believe that erotic energy is quite vital to my work. (Think about it: you’re lying on a table naked with someone’s hands on your body. I think there is a degree of eroticism inherent in such a situation.) However, I know that my idealized notions of erotic energy as it pertains to massage do not necessarily gel with everyone else’s notions, and I am keenly aware that many of those who purport to be seeking an “erotic massage” are really looking for an experience that involves little or no massage at all. Going to a massage therapist for sex is akin to going to an orthodontist to have him brush your teeth.

The term “erotic massage” is one that I think should be reclaimed from those who have made it synonymous with escort work, but as it is I eschew the term in advertising because too many people extrapolate that “erotic massage” means “nothing but erotic.” I choose to describe my integration of therapeutic massage and erotic energy as a “holistic” approach to massage, if you’ll indulge me that rather New Age-y neologism. The actual manipulation of muscular tissue that defines massage is the meat and potatoes of what I do. Sensual/erotic energy, ideally, should be an undercurrent that heightens one’s receptiveness to therapeutic touch.

The most understandable definition of holistic I have found is this American Heritage Dictionary version: “Emphasizing the importance of the whole and the interdependence of its parts.” Holistic is the adjective form of holism, which is–to give a concise but oversimplified explanation–the idea that a whole is somehow more than the sum of its parts. Don’t worry. I’m not trying to get all metaphysical on you. But consider this: in a purely clinical approach to massage, you’re most likely covered in draping, and the therapist is probably trying to consciously avoid getting too close to your erogenous zones. It can still be a satisfying experience in the hands of someone who is skilled at addressing your areas of tension, and you may leave feeling like your muscles have received much-needed attention. But let’s get rid of that draping, increase the range of the strokes and regard your body as a whole with nothing zoned off. That kind of approach, in my opinion, makes a body feel so much more alive and adds a synergy to the experience that makes it infinitely more fulfilling than the undrape/ massage-but-don’t-get-too-close-to-anything-naughty/ re-drape approach. In my idea of a holistic approach, the therapist doesn’t fear the fact that the client may become aroused at various times during the session.

If I were to distinguish between a holistic approach and an erotic approach to massage, I would say that a holistic approach recognizes that sensual and erotic feelings are a natural, valid part of the experience. However, an exclusively erotic approach may be one that seeks to exploit a body’s capacity for arousal at the expense of the therapeutic benefits of massage. (Keep in mind that I have simply co-opted the term holistic as a means of challenging what I see as the erroneous notions inherent in the purely therapeutic versus purely erotic dichotomy. Other massage practitioners who use the term holistic may have an entirely different take on the word.)

I think the reason the term “holistic” appeals to me is because it takes the pressure off the need for the session to be self-consciously erotic. I don’t relate to massage practitioners who offer an “erotic” version for an increased charge. I’m not sure I understand what they are factoring into or out of their various incarnations of a massage. The erotic element of my work is not something that is a deliberate addition to a more generic version. I do massage the way I feel it should be done, and for me erotic energy is intrinsic to it.

And to get attuned to that facet, imagine this scenario: You stumble upon a hidden beach in an idyllic location on the perfect summer day. You strip off every thread of your clothing, run naked into the blue-green water and play in the gentle surf, feeling wonderfully unencumbered and maybe just slightly mischievous. Exhausted but exhilarated, you emerge from the water and collapse onto the pure white sand and just lie there, relishing the warmth of the sun and the slight coolness of the breeze all over your bare body. You close your eyes and listen to the waves, with no particular urge to do anything but luxuriate in the moment. There is an element of eroticism and sensuality in such a scenario, but it is not about a libido in overdrive. It is more about feeling your body everywhere and savoring the heightened sensitivity of your skin that comes with being naked, relaxed and free. This little trip to the beach represents the frame of mind that allows you to get the most out of what I offer.

Continuing with the beach analogy: This time, think of a sandy beach as a metaphor for the massage. When I touch you, I do so without fear and without attempts to censor zones of your body. Arousal is a natural consequence. With the right frame of mind and set of expectations, arousal can come as a series of waves. Some waves are bigger than others, but these waves wash over the beach and then recede. If you become attuned to this wave mentality, then you are channeling erotic energy, and that is vital to sustaining the massage. I don’t mean for this to sound esoteric. Concepts like this are hard to put into words. But if I were to coin a mantra for channeling erotic energy, it would be this: let it come, let it go, let it be. You don’t need to disguise or be embarrassed by your arousal. You also don’t need to start humping the table. Just take a deep breath and enjoy the sensations you are feeling that moment. Don’t think about five minutes from now. In fact, try not to think at all.

Incidentally, after one to two hours of channeling erotic energy, you may feel a need to release some of that energy. I’m cool with that.

 

I try my best to create an atmosphere conducive to a great massage, but some things are beyond my control. Here are a few things I’ve found work so well.

Allow yourself to relax completely. If I lift your arm or leg, I’m going to support it. There is no need to assist the movement. I know that some people (including me) have trouble letting go like this when they are on the table. That’s okay. I realize that it is counterproductive and makes people self-conscious to demand that they relax. Just be aware that you have the option of letting go and that you will benefit more from the massage if you do.

Feel free to communicate with me. Sometimes I can tell from body language if I need to make adjustments, but I don’t have ESP. Don’t endure something if it hurts. Tell me. Also, if you feel overall that my touch is too firm or too light, let me know during the session.

Allow yourself to zone out. There is a state of consciousness about halfway between being completely awake and being asleep that is ideal for receiving massage. I realize that most people do not want to fall asleep and miss the sensations of touch, but you will not be in an optimally receptive state if you are fully alert. Close your eyes and relish the rare opportunity of doing nothing but receiving touch.

 

 

 

Comfortable Company

Comfortable Company

Time taken for personal relaxation and exploration is so valuable in these, often, challenging times.

Personal relaxation time can restore the energy and imagination lost in the machinery of the daily grind.

Any opportunity to relax the body and also the mind is a chance to rest or divert thinking.

Toward fulfilling the objective of personal comfort and mental diversion please also take comfort in the knowledge that this time is respected as personal and discreet.

To this purpose please know the following if you are communicating for the first time.

I am always pleased to receive and to try and answer the questions you will have. The best way, initially, to communicate is via a telephone call or a simple email of interest and introduction. From there we can arrange a time for a telephone conversation.

Texts are only useful where a call back is requested.

All communication – telephone and email – is always confidential. Your communication is a point of entry into a less stressful world that does not have a purpose or technology to intrude or ‘over-share’.

For visitors who have previously visited this island of relaxation, your time and visits are forever valued.

For those who are imagining and seeking answers – please do contact with the confidence that your call is always valued and respected with discretion.

Colin

Tel: 250-984-7051   Email: co.lins@outlook.com

Message of Thanks

Message of ThanksB

It’s time to thank the many readers of this blog who write emails describing their personal experiences with touch, massage, ritual and Tantra.

Often emails speak of personal voyages of self discovery. Often they speak of the successful actualization of thoughts and imaginings through the very personal interactions that Tantric practice can provide.

I try to respond to all communications and have had the pleasure of reading so many constructive thoughts and ideas.

In this process I’m often invited to post and share emails to this blog. So I’ve saved many communications with the intention of posting them.

Here’s one from a writer who provides thoughts that many might find familiar.

His experience, while personal to him, might be an inspiration to many who can imagine there are safe and comfortable experiences available.

Colin

 

From: xxxxxxx@gmail.com
Subject: Surprising and relaxing

Hello Colin,

Its unlikely I’ll ever get to visit you because I’m south of our shared border in Chicagoland. But I do read your blog and wish you would post more frequently.

I’ve become a tantric massage addict recently and reading the internet links I think I’m not alone and maybe my experiences will be helpful to others. I hope that you might publish my thoughts or I’ll have to start my own website.

I’m a retired professional gentleman in my late 60s. I’ve raised a family in the midwest and my wife and I have successfully downsized our lives. I can’t say that we have any special relationship problems but our interests have diverged over the years. I’d say we’re comfortable living companions but no longer sexual. I have always been respectful of my wife and family so have never had to hide serious secrets.

A year ago I slipped on some ice and damaged my back. It wasn’t serious and is now healed but at the time our doctor suggested I get some sports massage which would ease the discomfort.

I visited a massage practitioner and he introduced me to the world of deep tissue and sports massage. At first the visits were quite uncomfortable as he dealt with my not so serious injury. Then as I healed I began to find that I was enjoying the table time more than I was comfortable with. I had never sought massage treatments in my life and massage parlors would never have been on my radar. After the scheduled sports massages, though I found myself thinking about the touch of the practitioner and I must admit to becoming slightly confused about how much I would miss the visits when the session schedule ended and whether I could find something to replace it. The visits were always professional in nature. My wife is not strong enough to provide massage and I didn’t want to bother her with my thinking.

I took to the internet to learn more and after looking at the endless dubious massage services I found that the tantric term appeared quite frequently. I think thats when I might have first seen your site but there were others. In my searching I found a guy quite local to me who advertised massage for relaxation. My sports prescription had ended and although my back was mostly now ok I became quite focused on finding something to fix my need for touch. Parlors were out and there seemed no harm in contacting for a relaxation massage from a professional guy.

I made an appointment one cold afternoon at a suburban house. I was welcomed into a living room with a familiar massage table. The room seemed to be much less clinical than the room of my sports therapist. The space was certainly not threatening in any way and I’d become used to some of the massage protocols in my sports visits so I assumed something similar but less clinical. This is where my new experiences began I think.

I’ll refer to the practitioner as Brian. A very peaceful man in his 40s. After introducing himself and waiting for me to adjust to the room, take off my coat etc. I was invited to take a seat which was an armchair and explain my expectations while Brian listened. I remember telling him about my accident and massage treatment and I said that further relaxing massage might help as a self prescribed complete cure. I also told him that I found that my preference was for a male practitioner. As I talked I found myself beginning to anticipate the table time ahead in a way that hadn’t happened with my sports practitioner.

Brian said that he understood as much of the background as he needed to and that this would be a different experience because normally relaxation massages were more complete than sports or chiropractic. He invited me to use the shower, which I declined, and he left the room after telling me to undress and get onto the table. I put my clothes on the armchair and wrapped a towel, that Brian had left on the table, around me and climbed onto the table face down.

Brian soon returned although I couldn’t see him being face down. He turned on some quiet music and began a massage of my lower back and then to my shoulders. He used some oil and soon it began to occur to me that this was a very different experience from the sports massage. I found my mind wandering and into thoughts far from the reality of the day.

Brian didn’t remove the towel when he started on my legs but as he moved to my thighs the towel did get in the way. He asked if he could remove it to massage my butt and I happily murmured yes.

The massage continued as you might expect and I experienced it very sensually especially when I turned over, declining the towel as covering. Now I had a view of Brian, who was working shirtless. I found the combination of the touch of the massage and Brian’s appearance very arousing and although Brian did everything to slow me down the involuntary personal aspect of the massage was completed rather quickly.

Brian completed the massage for another 30 minutes I recall and I found myself completely relaxed and walking on air.

I used the shower and we talked for a while after I dressed. Since then I have returned to Brian quite frequently and feel more relaxed than I have for a long time.

Here’s the message you might like to take from this. I’ve found a safe and relaxing way to enjoy touch which is no longer available to me at home. I’ve been in good company and have made a new friend. Although I’ve always considered myself attracted to the opposite sex I’ve realized that I can completely enjoy the touch and company of a male in this context and I’ve come to appreciate the sensual and sexual potential of males in the same way that I’ve understood female attraction. I enjoy the company and the discretion and I will be enjoying my visits to Brian as far as I can see into the future.

It was a leap of faith for me to engage more of myself in this way and I would encourage any person who finds their ability to relax overwhelmed by routine, to find safe ways to enjoy whatever touch they can.

Hope this helps somebody.

John in Chicago

Tantric Triggers

Tantric Triggers

For those who find themselves on the Tantric path, new questions arise all the time.

Tantric practice is about relaxation of the mind and body and a Tantric approach to mindful relaxation often gives access to energies within that are often suppressed.

Sexual energy, for many, is the most deeply buried energy, and Tantric practice seeks to uncover that treasure. While buried within us, without outlet, sexual energy is a stressor which can be the source of many imbalances.

The purpose of Tantric practice is to heighten awareness of sexual energy and to balance mind and body. A first step is to begin to experience underused senses and how they can relate to sensual and sexual awareness.

Such practice can deliver deep relaxation of the mind and a heightened sense of relaxed well-being. The initial routes – always safe, sane and consensual –  are often through visual and touch stimulation.Tantric massage can provide incredibly exciting experiences, so much so that many people seek to move even further along the Tantric path and to enjoy this state of relaxation as part of their day to day lives.

But what is the next step after learning to appreciate how to receive and enjoy Tantric touch?

In heightening sensory awareness Tantric practice can begin to powerfully introduce sexual energy into the conscious mind. If that energy previously existed primarily in subconscious awareness, Tantra seeks to bring it more frequently into the conscious mind. This can be thought of as ‘mindful awareness’ and it is at that level that we can begin to integrate conscious Tantric sensuality with conscious sensual awareness. The reward is a reduction in daily mental stress as sexual energies become balanced and integrated with rational consciousness.

This endeavor is not as easy as might be imagined. In Tantric massage and related experiences the receiver is mostly passive, relaxing in the receipt of touch and reaching out to amplify and enhance that touch.

In ‘mindful awareness’ the Tantric purpose is to become a more active participant in creating the rise in energy and identifying and consciously promoting the relaxation ‘triggers’ that prompt the rise in sensual and sexual energy.

This level of participation in sensual and sexual exploration can be daunting at first but does bring entry into a world of previously unrealized consciousness. It begins to place sensual and sexual energy in a mindful consciousness that can be available 24/7 – not just on days when a Tantric massage or ritual session is available.

‘Tantric triggers’ are the switches or ‘turn-ons’ which are unique to each of us. Broad triggers could be visual, tactile, imaginary, taste-centered etc. Within those possibilities we each use imaginative energy to raise sexual/sensory consciousness.

The first step in a Tantric approach to ‘triggers’ is to recognize, consciously, what we are thinking and enjoying. Normally such thoughts can be allowed to surface, momentarily, from the subconscious in order to ‘enjoy the sexual and sensual moment’. In Tantra the goal is to ‘hold that thought’.

By becoming more conscious of the detail of such energy it can be recalled and given it its rightful place in the conscious mind.

The biggest initial hurdle is to overcome the perceived vulnerability that such consciousness raising requires. For many it is not easy to acknowledge the seemingly strange ‘turn on triggers’ that can be so powerful. We might know that we have always been turned on by particular body parts or characteristics but beyond disclosing an interest in socially acceptable ‘norms’, we can feel less inclined to disclose or seek the stimulation of preferences which might be thought of as ‘weird’ or ‘fetish’. So, often, that interest is kept secret, within within an individual.

Tantra looks to encourage enjoying that subconscious interest and energy so that it can become part of the conscious, relaxed mind and body.

There are many approaches in Tantra to reaching these levels of self-awareness. Massage and ritual can help.

So, for any who feel there are levels of subconscious energy that could be enjoyed – take the risk to talk further about these approaches.

Colin

Tel: 250-984-7051            Email: co.lins@outlook.com

 

 

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What to expect? – Just call ahead

Every massage experience is unique. Regardless of whether it’s a first time visit or one of many, always it will be a voyage of discovery.

For answers to questions and curiosities and to arrange a visit – just call ahead.

Tel: 250-984-7051

Email: co.lins@outlook.com

 

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